今年过年流行‘踢’,如果你没有机会‘踢’,说明你的老板抠门儿,或者你们公司效益不景气。
看晕了吧?什么是“踢”?“踢”谁?
“踢”就是“Kick off”,《简明英汉字典》的解释是:踢或脱(鞋等);中线开球,引申为 “动员会”或“开工准备会”。比如“Project Thunder Kick off Meeting”。
“踢”谁?当然是员工“踢”老板,以泄愤为主。
在国内,“Kick off”单指年终总结会“Annual Kick off Meeting”。年终总结会是员工痛苦的职业生涯中,少数能够无所顾忌地狠整老板、快乐地拿红包的日子。
“踢会”的形式和内容近两年越来越炫。旅游、宴会已不足为奇。拓展训练、时尚盛典、才艺比拼、搞怪派对炫酷登场。
最有名的出国“踢会”,当属雅虎、安利、玫林凯的年会;最气派的“踢会”当属几大传媒集团的时尚盛典;最奇特的“踢会”,当属外包给拓展训练公司的“踢会”。“踢会”炫不炫体现了雇主实力,因此,各大公司为了鼓舞士气,博得头彩,愈发重视,都铆足了劲“踢”他个开门红。
今天,我们就来一个另类英语“踢会”,一起整领导,树信心。争取你在身临“踢会”时,真的能够“踢”得心满意足。
踢会实况
场景二 员工:我本将心向明月,奈何明月照沟渠
马屁精:凡是领导说的,都是真理。
That‘s true.I totally agree.
嗯,不错,我完全同意。
That‘s right.It’s a very good idea.
很好,是个好想法。
I‘m sorry.Could you explain it? I’m not very clear about that.
抱歉,您能解释一下吗?我对此不是很清楚。
Can you give us some examples?
您能对此举一些实例吗?
Go On. What else?
继续,还有哪些?
欲加薪者:我本将心向明月,奈何明月照沟渠。
Mr. Black, why your salary is called package and ours is called payment? I heard that the annual pay means more than one million dollars which you must carry it in big package.
布莱克先生,您知道为什么您的薪水叫做年薪,而我们的只能叫做工资吗?我听到一个说法,过去赚年薪的人,钱多到上百万,需要用麻袋扛,所以现在都称年薪为打包行李。
Mr. Liu, we have finished assignment in 2005, so we are so interested in the raise and the bonus. We thought you shouldn‘t just give us a double raise. We worked so hard, but it appears from your speech that we haven’t done anything. It as a saying goes, “First my gaze toward the moon, but the moon shines on the ditch.”
刘三斤先生,我们可都完成了2005年的任务,我们很关心加薪和分红。您该不会只给我们一个双薪吧?我们工作的如此努力,不过从您说的话来看,似乎我们什么都没干,真应了那句话,“我本将心向明月,奈何明月照沟渠。”
想升职者:知我者谓我心忧,不知我者谓我何求。
员工:I‘ve worked in the same department in company for 5 years since my graduation; I think I need a new place to create the treasure for the company and I think I could deal with the new problems.
自打毕业,我就在公司工作,至今,已经在这个岗位上干了5年。我想,我应该到一个新的岗位上为公司创造价值,我想我也有能力处理新的问题。
Black:So you mean you have a new job? Ok, go ahead.
你是说你想跳槽?好!去吧。
员工:Who knows me understand my needs. I‘m not a mystery to you, Sir. Why do you pretend being lost?
知我者谓我心忧。老板你何必故意装傻?
要休假者:今天我要当家。
I can‘t stand you leaders, who are so cold-blooded. I can tell you seriously, we are very angry with the overtime work. If you cannot cut it, the consequences will be severe.
我最讨厌你们这些领导了,简直是冷血。我可以很负责地告诉你,我们很生气,如果明年还是无休止地加班加点,后果很严重……
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